Marriage Breakdown - How to Survive and Thrive

The purpose of this article is to provide general information and does not constitute legal advice. Please get in touch to discuss your specific circumstances.

Divorce is always an emotional and sad time, especially if it is not a mutual decision to separate. One person may feel abandoned, rejected, or blindsided.

When divorce comes as a shock and is not what you want, it can open the gates to intense and overwhelming emotions. Learning to move through this process of emotions and still make smart decisions is essential to not only surviving, but thriving once the dust has settled.

In the fictional scenario below, Susan is blindsided by divorce. Read on to see how Marg, our Divorce Coach, can lead the way when a marriage breakdown is a shock you are not prepared for.

Susan and Michael - the marriage breakdown no one saw coming

Susan met Michael at university and if, on her wedding day five years ago, she was told that Michael would one day leave her without explanation or reason, she would have laughed it off as absurd. Initially, Michael was attentive, genuine, and selfless. However, as his career progressed and she took a low-paying retail position, Susan felt left behind, but she supported Michael regardless. There were a few heated discussions such as when they could start a family or buy a home. However, it always ended with it “not being the right time” and needing to focus on Michael’s career priorities.

The day Michael came home from a business trip, told her he wanted a divorce and then moved out that same afternoon, Susan was in shock. After some investigation, Susan found that Michael had already left her long behind – both emotionally and in his social life.

How to cope with marriage breakdown and find support

While Michael was not the attentive, loving man Susan had married, she still loved him – even with the knowledge of his betrayal. While Susan was initially in denial and held out hope for their relationship, Michael cut off all contact and moved for work, ending any possibility of reconciliation. Divorce was looming.

Susan was heartbroken, lost and deep in her feelings – swinging from hurt and anger to resignation and helplessness. It was in those moments Susan needed support to help her make rational decisions despite those feelings of grief, betrayal, and rage. While Susan needed to heal and feel free of Michael to move forward and recover emotionally, she also needed to take steps to gain control of her life and safeguard her future.

Susan sought the assistance of a psychologist to help her process the grief of her marriage breakdown – to deal with her initial feelings of denial, controlling her urge to bargain (which was when Michael cut all contact), and to pull her back from the brink of depression. While the psychologist helped her heal emotionally, the assistance of a divorce coach helped Susan navigate the logistics of her new single life and make rational decisions for her future without giving into the storm of emotions.

How to survive marriage breakdown and build a future

Surviving after a marriage breakdown takes a village. You will need support on many fronts – legal support, emotional support, and practical support as you adjust to the logistics of a new future. Knowing what is best for you in the long-term can be difficult if you don’t know what you want from your future now.

Susan sought help from a legal divorce team, a psychologist for healing, and a divorce coach to establish a thriving life after divorce. While she navigated her feelings with a psychologist, Susan’s divorce coach assisted her with making decisions during the separation and divorce process.

If you resonate with Susan, a divorce coach can help you by listening, understanding, and asking questions that will guide you to make choices that are future-focused, such as:

Will your property settlement choices now have a long-term financial impact?
Are you prepared with all the information you will need for your legal team in order to minimise your legal costs?
Are there ways to help your children cope with a marriage breakdown?
Have you considered ALL the practical implications of your decisions or are your emotions in control?
Anger, frustration, and revenge might influence your decisions when a marriage breakdown seems sudden. So too can feelings of resignation, grief, or the apathy of depression. A divorce coach is there to assist you in seeing things clearly. However, seeing life beyond grief does not mean dismissing your feelings.

Having a divorce coach during a marriage breakdown means you have a specialist in the divorce process who can help you wade through your emotions and reach the outcome with genuine optimism for your future.

Thriving after a marriage breakdown

Susan is a fictional person. But sadly, her situation is familiar.

Grieving the loss of a life that feels like it has been whipped out from under you is hard. However, divorcing and moving forward into a brighter future does not have to be as hard as it might feel.

At Divorce Hub, we are dedicated to supporting you to build the future you deserve. With our support, you can make smart decisions despite how you feel. Our priority is guiding you through the legal process, through the cloud of grief and to a greener pasture where the smart decisions you make now give you the tools to thrive.

Get in touch today to discover how Divorce Hub can support you.