Family Law and Social Media
Whilst it is tempting to jump on social media and talk about your life and difficulties with your ex, when you have a family law case, it is often the worst thing you can do.
Family law and social media can be a dangerous mix, especially in custody and cases. I have written previously about the perils of Facebook and family law, but I am seeing increased use of inappropriate social media.
This is really concerning me, as reported today in Lawyers Weekly.
Family law evidence from social media
There are an increasing number of cases where family law and social media have intersected. You really have to watch what you write.
Calling the father of your child your ‘sperm donor’ or their mother a ‘greedy cow’ (I have seen much worse…) on social media, is hardly likely to be seen in a positive light by a family law Judge. Threatening violence can result in a Domestic Violence Order (or breach). Threats to take the children and the other parent never see them again can also be taken seriously. Social media posts like this can really play into the family law case the other parent is running against you.
In a 2010 family law case a mother denied that she had a new partner. However, her Facebook relationship status said ‘engaged’ and she posted about her ‘fiancé’. These matters were taken into consideration by the Judge. She had also written a Facebook post stating, “whatever looks better for me in Court”.
In a case I was handling the other side posted details on social media about their new business, whilst claiming to be unemployed. That certainly helped with the child support investigation!
Family law and social media collided for a mother in a family law case in 2010 where her posts were used as evidence of her intention to deliberately ‘run up’ the father’s legal costs. As a result she was ordered to pay a portion of the father’s legal costs.
A photo at the beach posted on social media was evidence in a family law case in 2008 that a parent was breaching supervision conditions.
In a 2014 family law case social media posts by the mother’s new partner about the father (including threatening him), were taken into evidence.
Facebook posts were considered as evidence in a 2015 family law case. In that case the Judge said
- The father’s inability to demonstrate self-focus, self-reflection, the very things that make up “emotional maturity”, would appear from that evidence to be stark and manifest and as evidenced through some of his actions including, but not limited to:
- His continued suggestion of acting in reliance upon the child’s requests or views – doing her bidding, as it were – whether for her protection or to secure that which she desires;
- His attendance at the school on 2 June 2014 which, perhaps, is the crowning achievement of disadvantage for this child;
- His Facebook postings to which I shall also return; [my emphasis]
- His over-holding the child on several occasions – at least two if not more – in the latter half of 2014, and his desire on those occasions, as demonstrated through the conversation between the parties at the school on 2 June 2014, to deliberately misinterpret that which was contained in the Orders, being a provision that his time, in addition to that specified and prescribed, would occur “otherwise as agreed”;
- His attitude towards the mother, without basis or objective foundation, that she is “alienating” the child, “harming” the child and “abusing” the child, and his desire to share those allegations with the world; and
- His continued assertion that his actions, inappropriate as they are sometimes and as conceded by him to be so, are designed to protect and guard the child when nothing is required in that regard and nothing could be further from the truth.
Can your ex gather social media evidence against you?
It is also common for former partners fishing on social media to gather evidence on their exes which they can put before the Court. People may be members of Facebook single parent support groups and post things about their case, thinking their ex won’t see it. Those groups usually have a warning about who could be reading, but when there can be thousands of group members, you just don’t know who is reading the post and screen-shotting it for evidence.
Maintain your integrity on social media
Separation, divorce and going through a family law case are traumatic. Conflict harms children. The important thing is to maintain your integrity. If you go to social media with claims and accusations, the Court may feel it undermines your integrity. If the other person is doing it, take a record of it, but don’t be tempted to retaliate. It is trite, but true, to say ‘two wrongs do not make a right’. You cannot control the behaviour of the other parent, but you can control your own reactions.
You want to be maximising your chances of having a good co-parenting relationship, especially if you want shared custody.
Stop and think before you post on social media
Regard anything you say in written form about your ex-partner as potentially ending up in front of the Judge.
So, think about what you are doing before you make any post on any social media platform including Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. But also be careful about emails, text messages, Messenger and any other form of modern communications system. Angry messages posted on social media forums are out of your control the moment you upload them. Anything you post could come back to haunt you.
We have such instantaneous communication available these days that it’s easy to fly off the handle and post something on social media in haste, that you might later come to regret.
Family law and social media just don’t mix, especially posts made under the influence (whether that is anger, alcohol or something else).
Take a pause.
Think about what Judge might think reading it.
Sometimes we have to come back to that advice our Mums gave us when we were kids:
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
If you need advice about your family law matter, contact us for a fixed fee consultation with one of our family law team.
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